Don't strew me with roses after I'm dead.
There is no use in denying it. I'm almost dead. My death is imminent, it is
to be expected real soon now. Fortunately there are means to very precisely
determine the date of one's death and lucky me has found a service,
TheSpark.com, to do exactely
that for me. "Fortunately?" you ask? Yes, fortunately! For now that I know
the very day Death (see photo) will date me I can use the little time I've left staying
on this planet the way I want to use it. Now I can plan, make priority decisions
based on hard data and can carefully arrange all the things to be done so
that I do them in their proper sequence.
And now, folks, I'm about to share the knowledge of one of my most private moments with you. Dying isn't something you do everyday; in fact it is an once-in-a-lifetime-experience (unless you're either that Jesus guy or married), it is an event whose end is in some way determined (by your rotting corpse) and in another way is extremly disputed. What I want to say: the day of one's death is kind of an important day in one's life.
Now I am willing to let you all know when I will die. Be prepared to be confronted with the most distracting probabilities about the way my soul will leave this planet. Do not read any further if you think you might not be ready to face these truths! Beware the moment of what you are about to read -- and perhaps exult at the joyfull visions my perishing gives to you.
Thus, here they are, the results of my DeathTest (found at TheSpark.Com). I sincerely hope that one or the other of you guys will be able to party on that day. It would be nice if you'd have a drink (or three) on poor dead me.
CU in the purgatory whirl pool!
|Copyright © 2001 - Jörg Tiemann||Last modified: Sat, 18 Aug 2001|